carol@fantoo.com (Carol Fantoo)

Today The Fantoo Girls are coming to you live from the porch swing on the very expensive porch of the very expensive new house that YOU built! So, as is prone to happen some of the time, the Yankees organization gets exposed for screwing you. Is it not enough that they are willing to tear down the sports equivalent of the Parthenon in an effort to sell luxury boxes? The answer is no. They have to stick it to us even more by taking our cash to pay for it. And then lie about it. Let it be known: The Curse has begun. And the Fantoo Girls say it is so. Listen in for the details and keep your barf bag at the ready. We rant and moan and then we're off to the most entertaining Monday Night Football game in our memory. 18.6 million people watched as the Cowboys and the Eagles put up the numbers, celebrated a wee bit early, lost a few key players to injury, pulled a hook and ladder that crumpled and crashed, took a six point score over a two point safety, and basically all around entertained our asses off. (We're super excited about that because we've been looking for ways to emulate emaciated models but till now had not stumbled upon the quick fix.) Kudos to EPSN for nixing the annoying in-suite guests, but could they do something about the chatty hosts? Tony, Mike and Ron couldn't talk more if they were water-boarded! But all pales in comparison to the drama on the field. The game could have used its very own sports podcast episode. The second weekend of football has come to a close and was as dramatic as the first. The weather (60 mile an hour gusts in Ohio), the injuries (Seattle lost more wide receivers than most teams have on the roster), the emotional drama (Vince Young should retire. The dude is clearly not happy in his chosen profession and cash should not be the reason why he stays.), it was all present and accounted for. Stay tuned because next week we will talk about the NFL groupie hierarchy. If the Rams are that bad, we have to assume they cannot attract the same level of gold digger as the Cowboys. And we're certain to be rehashing the outcomes of some pivotal Week 3 games. Our Fan-Tutor focuses in on the issue of blowing the whistle. If there was ever a man that The Girls believed could blow the whistle in the right way, at the right time, it was Ed Hochuli. He needs to go back to school because his inadvertent whistle was inadvertently devastating to the Chargers. Maybe a little less time flexing the guns and a little more time flexing the lips is in order, although we would have thought he was all set in that department. Sticking to the gridiron we select the Redskins' Chris Horton as our Rookie Look of the Week. (Note: The NFL copies us all the time.) Was his impromptu performance against the New Orleans Saints spectacular? Yes. But not as spectacular as the punking of this week's NFC Defensive Player of the Week. Kudos to Randy Thomas for making us laugh off the asses we would still have if the Cowboys V. Eagles game hadn't already eradicated them. Again, listen and thee shall know of what we speak. The baseball diamond is en fuego as MLB screams toward the World Series. The Mets look poised to do that which is familiar, the Phillies show why Philadelphia is a gritty city, and the Rays demonstrate why you should never judge a book by its cover, or a team by its ultra-crappy stadium. Gray may be in, but not 'in' like that. The Girls want to also congratulate Derek Jeter on his incredible achievement of breaking Lou Gehrig's record for the most hits of all time at Yankee Stadium. And since the new stadium is dead to us (okay, let's be specific, to Carol) we consider that record set in stone, never to be broken again. Finally, although you wish it could last forever...in this week's IT HAS TO BE SAID we continue with a natural theme and call to task one of those all-important government departments that apparently have way more fun then we do when we're on the clock. So grab your GPS, all your available cash and a cozy blanket (The Girls get cold when the weather changes and our blood is still thin)...it's time t

"randy thomas", "seneca wallace", "vince young", "aaron rodgers",