Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (commonly shortened to Two Pints or Two Pints of Lager) is a BBC sitcom written by Susan Nickson. It is set in the town of Runcorn in Cheshire, England and revolves around the lives of five twentysomethings; it was first broadcast in 2001.

The title was inspired by the 1980 hit single "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please" by Splodgenessabounds.

In the first series, the "Girl's Pub" is the Mayhew, while the "Boy's Pub" is the Archer (in subsequent series only the Archer is used), a reference to script editor Paul Mayhew-Archer.