The Sketch Show was a British television sketch comedy program, featuring many leading British comedians. It aired on ITV1 between 2001 and 2003 (Although it was originally pitched & rejected by the BBC ).
A short-lived spinoff of the same title was produced in the United States.
ttle Girl: Dad, will you tell me a bedtime story? d: Of course! Once upon a time, there was a man named Freddy Krueger... m: Let me do it!
ctor: Well, I've just gotten your test results back. n: And? ctor: You'll be happy to know it's just Benign. n: Thank God. ctor: That's good news isn't it, Mr. Ignant? n: I'm not Mr. Ignant, I'm Mr. Ign. Mr. Ben Ign. ctor: [looks at his paper] Then who's this Mal Ignant?
couple deciding on where to go on a holiday] n: All right, I'll stick a pin on this map and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go. ticks pin] man: Siberia. n: Too cold. ticks pin] man: Sahara Desert. n: Okay new rule, it's got to be somewhere that can sustain human life. ticks pin] man: The Indian Ocean. n: Okay, it's got to be a place where we can stand on. ticks pin] man: Canada. n: We've been there. ticks pin] man: China. n: No beaches. ticks pin] man: Portugal n: Don't fancy it. ticks pin] man: France. n: Too predictable. Can I be honest? I want to go to Hawaii.
man: I said quilt, not kilt.
man: [walks up to counter] Hello. Can I have a can of lemonade, please? rious Roles: [writing on a piece of paper] Over there in the fridge. Help yourself! man: And a cup of tea, please. rious Roles: Teabags over there, cup's there, water there, milk there! man: And a slice of cake? rious Roles: Eggs in the fridge, flour and sugar in the cupboard! man: [getting annoyed] And a ham sandwich, please! rious Roles: Pig out back, bolt gun behind door! man: I want to see the manager! man: Office there, door there! [Tim exits the office] man: Are you the manager? n: Badge there, title there! man: [pointing at Jim] Counter there, rudeness there! n: [gives Jim a termination letter] P45 there, Exit there rious Roles: [gives Tim an envelope] Too late! Envelope here, resignation there!
