Teachers is an American television sitcom that aired on NBC. The show ran for six episodes until its cancellation on May 2, 2006. Loosely based upon a UK series of the same name, it was developed by Matt Tarses, co-executive producer of the medical comedy Scrubs.

rt McKenna: [Brian and Kurt attempt to dissuade Simon from going travelling in South America:] Brian, word association: Paris? ian Steadman: Croissants. rt McKenna: Spain? ian Steadman: Bulls. rt McKenna: South America? ian Steadman: Hostage situation.

rt McKenna: Simon, will you please tell Brian that I don't need a lift? mon Casey: [noticing smoke from Kurt's bad cooking] What the fuck? ian Steadman: Simon, ask Kurt how else is he gonna get to school. rt McKenna: Tell Brian I'm gonna use Simon's bike! ian Steadman: Remind Kurt that he broke Simon's bike at the weekend. mon Casey: [angry] You broke Simon's bike? rt McKenna: Remind Brian he promised not to tell Simon that I'd broken his bike! mon Casey: [to Brian] How did he break my bike? rt McKenna: Kurt's not sure. ian Steadman: He dropped it. mon Casey: [angry] How can you fucking drop it? rt McKenna: Please thank Brian for putting Kurt in the shit! [storms off] ian Steadman: Tell Kurt that he still hasn't told Brian how he's going to get to school!

are Hunter: I never want to see "for being a mong" in the detention book again.

ian Steadman: This has nothing to do with you being fat, which you're not, you're just healthy... in a large way.

rt McKenna: Do you think J.P shagged her? ian Steadman: No, he's gay. rt McKenna: Maybe he's bi-sexual? ian Steadman: Lucky bastard! rt McKenna: How's that? ian Steadman: Coz you can shag anyone!

are Hunter: A spastic is someone with cerebral palsy, not someone who misses an open goal on the football field, Mr Steadman.

san Gately: I'm going to have a baby. rt McKenna: Can't you get the drinks in first?

rt McKenna: [about JP] He loves Christmas ian Steadman: [mimicking JP] It's fucking magic!