My Old Man is an old music hall song written by Fred W. Leigh and Charles Collins, made popular by Marie Lloyd.

It is a humorous song, but it also reflects some of the hard aspects of working class life in Britain at the beginning of the twentieth century. The couple, in the song, are obliged to move house quickly in the middle of the night, because they can't pay the rent. They fill up the van with their possessions, but there is not room for the two of them also, so the husband instructs his wife to follow behind the van, which she does, carrying the pet bird.

The chorus of the song is well-known. : And don't dilly dally on the way". : I walked behind wiv me old cock linnet . : Lost me way and don't know where to roam. : When you can't find your way 'ome

An alternative to the fourth line is: "I followed on wiv me old cock linnet"

An alternative to the last two lines is "Half quarten" was a slang expression for a measure of spirits (usually Gin) and was equal to 2½ Imperial ounces.

The chorus is the basis of a terrace chant popular among English football fans. The lyrics were originally changed to My old man said "Be a City fan", by Manchester United fans (about Manchester City) then copied by Aston Villa fans (about Birmingham City) among others.

The first verse and the chorus were featured in episode 211 of The Muppet Show, performed by Miss Piggy. In the Muppet fan community the song is better known as "Don't Dilly Dally On the Way".

The song also appeared in the Sega Master System version of Lemmings, making its first appearance in the 17 th level rated "Fun".

In The Catherine Tate Show, during the Life at Ma's sketch (a spoof of Life on Mars), the last four lines are sung by Catherine Tate and a variety of other characters.

My Old Man song is a popular football song commonly sung by fans of English and Northern Irish soccer clubs.

It is sung to the melody of the song "Don't Dilly Dally (My Old Man Said Follow The Van)", popularised by Marie Lloyd. : And don't dilly dally on the way". : We took (other rival footall team) and all that's in it : we'll show the bastards how to fight : ALL TOGETHER NOW!

An example of this is Linfield Football Club : And don't dilly dally on the way". : We took Coleraine and the bastards in it : we'll show the bastards how to fight : ALL TOGETHER NOW!

The shorter version:

My old man said be a fan, I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt!"

The alternative shorter version:

My old man said be a fan, I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt! Have a banana"