Mock the Week is a British topical panel game, hosted by Dara Ó Briain. It is made by independent production company Angst Productions and made its debut on BBC Two in 5 June, 2005. Episodes regularly attract 3.5 million viewers.

Created by Dan Patterson and Mark Leveson, the same people responsible for the comedy game show Whose Line Is It Anyway? Mock the Week is usually described as a cross between Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Have I Got News For You. The show's theme music is "News of The World" by The Jam.

hat Tony Blair thinks] Murray: [impersonating a Dalek] You will obey! Exterminate!

ays not to start a party political broadcast] Brand: For the next three and a half hours...

ays not to start a party political broadcast] gh Dennis: My fellow paedophiles...

ankie Boyle: I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying "My dad's bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!" "So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it."

ankie Boyle: Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

epeated line] gh Dennis: The band was Shawaddy Waddy!

e Perkins: [Unlikely things to hear at the Oscars] They said we couldn't make 'The Sally Gunnel Story' but here we are.

vid Mitchell: [Unlikely things to hear at the Oscars] And the winner is... Ross Kemp!

ankie Boyle: Having a gang-bang in Scotland in the winter is like playing Pass The Parcel: there's that many layers!

ankie Boyle: [If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] How long is a Scottish winter?

am Captain: [If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] On average, how long does the NHS take to give pregnant women a bed in maternity?

gh Dennis: [If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] How long does it take Abu Hamza to tie his shoelace?

ankie Boyle: [If this is the answer, what is the question: Up To 18 Months] What is Stephen Hawking's personal best for the London marathon?

gh Dennis: [the panel are asked what to do about bird flu. Hugh is a Tory MP; Rory is the Duke of Edinburgh] Well, personally I think we ought to do away with all birds, including swans. am Captain: They belong to my wife, you bastard! gh Dennis: Oh, yeah. I've shagged your wife, as well. am Captain: You lucky devil! I haven't had sex with her for nearly sixty years!

gh Dennis: [In scenes we'd like to see: what a television announcer is unlikely to say] If you've been affected by the issues raised in Balamory...

ankie Boyle: [In scenes we'd like to see: what a television announcer is unlikely to say] The following episode of Songs of Praise contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature.

gh Dennis: Tired of a messy toolbox? Then you need the Abu Hamza multi-tool!

esenter: [In the out-takes show. The people in his earpiece keep telling him to get on with the show] They're even shouting at this bit! 'Stop doing that bit where you mock us for shouting in your ear'!

gh Dennis: Itchy skin, dry flaking scalp? You disgust me!

ankie Boyle: The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.

am Captain: [Rory is Tony Blair giving a speech; Hugh is translating] As Prime Minister, it is my duty to protect the people of this nation. gh Dennis: Whoops! am Captain: Many nights I've lain awake, gazing into the abyss... gh Dennis: I wish Cherie would sleep with her mouth closed. am Captain: I know that a lot of people have been wondering when I'm going to retire... gh Dennis: I know Gordon has been wondering when I'm going to retire... am Captain: I'm sure that one day, Gordon will make a great leader... gh Dennis: ...of the Opposition... am Captain: But I'm not a king-maker. There will be a proper procedure for deciding the leader who follows me. gh Dennis: Whomsoever pulls the sword from the stone! He shall be the one!

gh Dennis: Viewers of a nervous disposition may be interested to know that your television is off and I am speaking to you from inside your head...

hn Oliver: [Unlikely things to be said in programme indents] You're watching ITV1... Why are you doing that? I've got the listings here and... we've got nothing!

gh Dennis: [Unlikely things to be said in programme indents] You may be interested to know that I'm completely naked and playing with myself.

am Captain: [Unlikely things for a news reporter to say; as Trevor MacDonald] Welcome to ITV News... ON ICE!

gh Dennis: [Unlikely things to be said during a programme indent] If you were affected by any of the issues raised in tonight's episode of Balamory...

am Captain: [Celebrity Dating Videos; as Nelson Mandela] Ah! Hello! I'm an ex-politician and human rights activist. And I'm looking for a strong African woman. I'm over eighty, I look like a pint of Guinness, but wait till you see Nelson's Column!