I've Got Two Legs is a song by the British comedy troupe Monty Python's Flying Circus. It most prominently appears in the concert film Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl, the concert LP Monty Python Live at Drury Lane and the album Monty Python Sings.
At the Hollywood Bowl and Drury Lane, the song followed the Argument Sketch. Terry Gilliam descended from the ceiling with his guitar and sang the short song:
"I've got two legs from my hips to the ground, and When I move them they walk around, and When I lift them they climb the stairs, and When I shave them they ain't got hairs."
Invariably, as he tries to begin the second verse, he is shot, blown up or otherwise killed. On Monty Python Sings, the voice who introduces the song ("And now Mr Terry Gilliam will sing for you "I've Got Two Legs.") can be heard after the shooting saying "Thank you."
