orge Carlin: The longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear the phrase "sanctity of life," "sanctity of life." You believe in it? Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit. I mean, life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death.

orge Carlin: If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything that's alive is gonna die, where does the sacred part come in?

orge Carlin: If you're pre-born, you're fine, if you're pre-schooled, your fucked. Conservatives wan't live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life, these people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors, what kind of pro-life is that? What, they'll do everything they can do save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? orge Carlin: Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways that we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it. You know why? Cause chickens are decent people. orge Carlin: You can go back further than that- what about the carbon atoms, heh? Life could not exist without carbon. So is it just possible that maybe we shouldn't be burning all of this coal?

orge Carlin: How come when it's with us, it's an 'abortion', and when it's with chickens it's an 'omelet'?

orge Carlin: People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

orge Carlin: Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?

orge Carlin: Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! I don't give a shit! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. I don't do that, why, don't give a shit! Fuck Mickey Mouse! Fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick! Then break it off and beat him with it! I hope Mickey dies. I do, I hope he goddamn dies. I hope he gets a hold of some tainted cheese, and dies lonely and forgotten in the bathroom of some bad building in a poor neighborhood, with his hand in Goofy's pants. Mickey Mouse- no wonder no one takes our country seriously, we waste valuable news time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!

orge Carlin: The next guy who says "Badda-boom badda-bing" to me is getting kicked right in the fucking nuts. antomimes kicking a guy in the nuts] orge Carlin: Badda BOOM, mother fucker! Wanna try "badda bing"?

orge Carlin: A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a bunny suit at the time.