Casanova is a 2005 British television drama serial, written by the acclaimed television scriptwriter Russell T. Davies and directed by Sheree Folkson. Produced by Red Production Company for BBC Wales in association with Granada Television, the 3-episode series was first screened on digital television station BBC Three from March 13, with a repeat on mainstream analogue network BBC One commencing April 4.
Casanova is a 2005 comedy film directed by Lasse Hallström based on the life of Giacomo Casanova.
acomo Casanova: I'm a spy. imani: How d'you mean a spy? acomo Casanova: A spy. I spy. That's me, the spy. Of course, being a spy I really shouldn't say I'm a spy or I'm spied by a spy. imani: I suppose you can prove it? acomo Casanova: What? You want me to spy on something? Um, look, there's a canal, I spied it. Look, it's still there. Ooh, and again.
ith: Is it all going to be like this? der Casanova: Like what? ith: Pornography. der Casanova: No. Pornography's over there, second shelf on the left.
acomo Casanova: Now you see the puzzle is, if I were married to Henriette, and separated by hundreds of miles, I'd do anything to be with her. To hell with the job, I'd resign, I'd walk barefoot. Yet you seem decidedly static, why is that? I don't suppose you're having problems? In the marital bed, perhaps? Dare I suggest on your side of the bed. Bit of trouble with the old... [whistles] If you need advice, I'm very good. imani: How could you possibly advise me? You're a con-man, I'm an ambassador. I have a wife, you have whores. I have children, you have a bastard. acomo Casanova: Look, if you want a measuring contest I'll drop my pants right now and I'll win. imani: You talk like a pervert. acomo Casanova: No, I'm just not scared of what's down there, that's all. Tell me, is cock fighting illegal in this country? 'Cause that's what this is. imani: You sound more in love with men than women. acomo Casanova: Men I understand. I know what men think about, all day long. Those stupid little inches, driving you mad every waking hour. I know exactly what's going on in your head. Is it big? Is it big enough? Is it hard enough, will it work every time on demand; cause that's the only thing, that is the only bastard question - am I any good in bed? Is every other man better than me? Is every other man bigger and faster and slower and longer and deeper and harder - what am I doing wrong? How do I find out, cause no one ever talks about it, no one ever says. How can I ever find out what I'm doing wrong? [pause] Ask me.
acomo Casanova: Never lose your heart, Jack. Never let them take it.
acomo Casanova: As they say in these parts, 'ta'.
imani: My marriage is none of your business. acomo Casanova: And yet I think of nothing else. imani: And that is your curse.
imani: I have considerable influence within the English court, I can demand an audience with King George the second himself. So go on, try your tricks, and you will fail, I'll see to that. acomo Casanova: You're just dying to kiss me.
nriette: The man of parts. acomo Casanova: Many parts. nriette: Is that how you win over the ladies? Cheap innuendo? acomo Casanova: No, you just make all my best lines rubbish.
acomo Casanova: That's my name, people call me Jack. Can't we change his name? cco: No. acomo Casanova: Lorenzo, or Caesar, Marco, Stefano, Giovanni... Alison? cco: No.
acomo Casanova: I wonder if he's an idiot. I talk and talk and he gives nothing back. cco: Well, maybe if it wasn't all about you... acomo Casanova: Well I don't know anyone else.
acomo Casanova: This blessed plot, this sceptred isle, this England. What do you think? cco: Bloody freezing. acomo Casanova: Yeah that's one thing, what else? Jack - anything? Anything, Jack? Then pay attention both of you, English lesson. The currency's different here, they spend guinea's. Scratching in public is forbidden, that's for you Rocko. But not that - look over there, observe. cco: That's disgusting. acomo Casanova: Uh, that's England. They don't piss in doorways like we do, they do it right out in the open. cco: These English are crazy. acomo Casanova: And the food tastes different. I'm told the milk is terrible. Oh! And a lot of the men are homosexual... that might have something to do with the milk... might not.
imani: How can the church maintain its authority when the language itself is beyond reason? For example; in the Latin, can anyone explain to me why the word for vagina is masculine and the word for penis feminine, he had no answer. acomo Casanova: Well I suppose you could say it's because the slave always takes its name from the master.
nriette: If your going to pretend in this city then you only have to remember one thing; they're all pretending - high born, low born, the people in between, everyone's wishing they were someone else. All you have to do is lie with conviction.
cco: Its all bollocks that stuff. acomo Casanova: Ah, but since you were born under the sign of a ram, with you're tangent in the ascendant, I knew you were going to say that. cco: Very funny. acomo Casanova: And that. cco: You can't just... acomo Casanova: And that. cco: Don't you... acomo Casanova: And that. cco: It's not... acomo Casanova: And. cco: If you... acomo Casanova: And!...
acomo Casanova: This is beginning to scare me.
ith: You don't have to go into detail. I'd appreciate it if you kept it clean. der Casanova: That leaves about three pages.
nriette: Quite the gentleman. acomo Casanova: Quite the lady. nriette: Quite bored of this. Goodbye.
ndlord: That smell's the tannery; God help you in summer. If there's one good thing, the rats can't climb this high, but the water can - that roof hasn't got long. acomo Casanova: You're not exactly selling it.
gela Tosello: I find all forms of theatre vulgar. acomo Casanova: Yes, absolutely, good point. Even puppet shows?
acomo Casanova: [Bellino has removed the fake penis from her pants] Now, mine doesn't do that...
acomo Casanova: Why the disguise? llino: I was penniless. acomo Casanova: I've been penniless, I didn't change sex. Well... there was one night, but I was VERY drunk...
acomo Casanova: It's practically the distillation of my life so far - I've become famous simply for being outrageous. cco: And you can make a living out of that? acomo Casanova: Rule Brittania!
acomo Casanova: Do you know what 'Casanova' means in the original Latin? llino: No. acomo Casanova: It means 'lucky bastard'.
acomo Casanova: You're with the wrong man. nriette: I know. acomo Casanova: You still haven't said... do you love me? nriette: Yes... yes. Completely. acomo Casanova: [on the verge of tears] Then, thank you for tonight. nriette: [nods] Thank you for the dance.
acomo Casanova: You're with the wrong man. nriette: I know. acomo Casanova: You haven't said: do you love me? nriette: Yes. Yes, completely. But I need him.
rimani meets Casanova at a second party] imani: Oh, it's that man again. acomo Casanova: Are you following me? People'll talk.
asanova enters the confessional and crosses himself] acomo Casanova: Bless me father, for I have sinned. Again. Um, I don't know where to start, um. It's money, father, er, love of money is a sin, isn't it? iest: A grave sin. acomo Casanova: I, I don't love it as such, but I need it, is that sin? iest: In too great a measure then, yes. acomo Casanova: It's not for me. You see, there's this woman, um, and I suppose you can include lustful thoughts while you're at it... he priest nods] acomo Casanova: Er, there's this woman, but she's engaged, and all this went on behind her fiancé's back. Um, not literally. [Remembering] Although I have actually done that... But anyway, um, first of all I was with another woman, and I slept with her, sorry, er, well, I slept with her lots of times so, very sorry. Um, but before that she was a man. I was going to sleep with a man, sorry. But it turned out she had a false penis down her trousers. he Priest clutches at his heart] acomo Casanova: So, I slept with her, without the false penis obviously, um, [dreamily] although we did find a way of using it... But never mind that. You see, I, I was just trying to be honest, like the sisters told me, um. Oh yeah, two sisters. I slept with them, both at the same time, er, er, lots of times, I suppose I should, I should mention that. iest: [Clutching at his heart] Oh dear God! acomo Casanova: I know, I know, but at least I didn't sleep with their mother. [Remembering] Although I have actually done that, um, I suppose you should put that on the list. Two sisters, and a mother, and... oh and those nuns... two nuns, you might know them. he Priest keels over] acomo Casanova: So, all in all, it's been a bit of a time, really, and I've ended up penniless. So, what do you think I should do, father? [Silence] Father? Father?
der Casanova: [writing] Gentlemen... acomo Casanova: Gentlemen! der Casanova: [writing] I'm sure we can sort this out amicably... acomo Casanova: I'm sure we can sort this out amicably! der Casanova: [writing] Look at it this way... acomo Casanova: Look at it this way; if you could do what I can do, then you would do it too! der Casanova: [writing] But you can't. acomo Casanova: But you can't! I can, and I have, and I'll do it again! So, you should be happy for me, just a little tiny bit, don't you think? And *you*, sir, just consider; you love your wife. *I* love your wife! Aren't we both on the same side? If you think about it, I'm... I'm, um... what was it again? der Casanova: I'm hungry.
A very long, beginning-to-end life story of an eighteenth century womanizer that is arrested, not so much for his crimes, but because he is viewed as an undesirable by the husbands and families of the women he seduces. Written by K. Rose
Casanova is love with Francesca, who thinks he is a friend of himself even though he is engaged Victoria, who is the love of Giovanni, Francessca's brother. Francessca is betrothed to Paprizzio who thinks Casanova is the feminist writer Guardi, who is really Francessca's nomme de plume. Amidst all these secret identities and misunderstandings, the Catholic Church sends Pucci to bring Casanova and Guardi to trial for heresy. Written by Ploy P.
