Bless This House was a popular British sitcom that ran on ITV from 1971 to 1976. It starred Sid James and Diana Coupland. It was written by Vince Powell, Harry Driver, Carla Lane, Myra Taylor, Dave Freeman and Bernie Sharp. It was made for the ITV network by Thames Television. In 2004, it came 67th in Britain's Best Sitcom.

1970s English suburbia: middle-aged homeowner Sid Abbot just wants to get on with building his illegal whisky still, but is frustrated by his workshy son, and otherworldly daughter. Then the rude and arrogant Ronald Baines and his family move in next door. Garden-fence hostilities soon commence. Written by Simon Shearn

d Abbott: I feel shocking. an Abbott: So do I. It's no fun sleeping with twelve stone of Harris Tweed - especially when it's drunk.

an Abbott: I can just see it - the senile Scout troop hits town. d Abbott: What do you mean, senile? We've all grown up to be respectable citizens. One's a waiter, one's a butcher, one's a bank clerk... an Abbott: And one's Trevor. If the rest were monks, he'd make up for it.

an Abbott: Where on earth did you go? d Abbott: I don't know. We'll just have to wait for the complaints to come in, won't we

id enters the kitchen, when the budgie start tweeting] d Abbott: One more tweet and I'll have all your teeth out.

id has found Trevor in the kitchen] evor Lewis: Have you seen my shoes, Sid? d Abbott: [Grinning] I knew I'd taken somebody's off.

revor has left, and Sally has come in] lly Abbott: Did you come in alone? d Abbott: Of course I came in alone. lly Abbott: You do a very good duet, daddy. d Abbott: Would you mind stopping the chattering? It's worse then a blooming aviary in here with you and him.

an Abbott: [out of shot] Sid. d Abbott: Oh, Blimey, what have I done now? lly Abbott: Perhaps you haven't done anything. d Abbott: No. I know that tone of voice. That's definitely a done something voice. an Abbott: [out of shot] Sid-ney. d Abbott: What did I tell you. Coming, darling. d Abbott: [entering the hall] Yes? What? an Abbott: I've discovered one place you were last night. d Abbott: You have? How? an Abbott: I found this in the bathroom. [shows Sid a LADIES toilet sign]

ean has discovered a LADIES toilet sign in the bathroom, which she has handed to Sid] an Abbott: Up to your old tricks again? d Abbott: I beg your pardon? an Abbott: Bringing souvenirs home. d Abbott: Are you implying that I nicked this? an Abbott: Yes. [Snatches the sign back] I haven't got over last years annual booze-up - you brought home a belisha beacon. d Abbott: Well, I had to. The only way I could get Trevor home - he wouldn't let go of it.

ean has followed Sid into the kitchen] d Abbott: [indicating the LADIES toilet sign] You're so sure it was me. Perhaps it's Mike's. ke Abbott: [walking in with a GENTLEMENS toilet sign] Look what I found in the loo.

lly Abbott: [walking in through the back door with a Met Police No Parking Sign] Look what I found by the back door. d Abbott: That must be Trevor - he's like a blooming squirrel.

an Abbott: Any minute now, Sid will be coming round, begging for his cocoa. tty Lewis: Any minute now, Trevor will be round begging for his - and it won't be cocoa!

d Abbott: [indicating Mike] You know that generation gap they keep going on about - it's between his ears!