Tenacious D was a TV series that ran on HBO in 1997, 1999, and 2000. It featured the fictional accounts of the real band Tenacious D, which is composed of members Jack Black and Kyle Gass. All of the episodes of the show are available on Tenacious D's The Complete Masterworks DVD.

The show included many songs that would later be recorded for their studio albums Tenacious D (2001) and The Pick of Destiny (2006).

ul: Ok, up next, these two guys have been here for the last couple weeks. They asked me to read this: "Warning. If you want your asses blown out, stay in the room." Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D.

ck Black: Where do songs come from? Inspirado.

ck Black: Sometimes you gotta leave your zone of safety. You have to manufacture Inspirado. You gotta get out of the apartment. You've got to run with the wolves. You've got to dive into the ocean and fight with the sharks. Or just treat yourself to a delicious hot fudge sundae. With nuts.

ck Black: Let's kick it. I'll say "Kick it," and you'll just kick it with a tasty groove, ok? One, two, three, kick it. Kick it. Come on, god DAMMIT. GOD, KYLE. COULD YOU ONE TIME KICK IT, WHAT THE FUCK?

ck Black: Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth? le Gass: Yes. ck Black: Would you read to me? le Gass: Why couldn't you read? ck Black: Just don't want to. le Gass: Yes. ck Black: Would you take a bullet for me? le Gass: No.

ul: Ok, this next act asked me to read this. "Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and Molly Hatchet could not be here tonight, but they all had sex and are proud to announce the birth of their two-headed baby, Tenacious D."

oupie: Hey, boys. You were incredible. Your songs, the way you moved... you did it. You blew me away. So which one of you assholes is gonna fuck me? le Gass: ...I will.

escribing Flarna] le Gass: What's she like? ck Black: She's totally into Satan. le Gass: You love Satan. ck Black: I know. She's got her spine pierced. le Gass: Dude, you're totally into spinal piercing. ck Black: And she loves to clog.

ack finds Kyle trying to beat him to Flarna's heart] ck Black: Hi, Kyle. How's the clogging coming along? Hi, Flarna. arna: Hi. ck Black: Jack. arna: Oh yeah. Jack. You fixed my car. ck Black: No, no, we met at the thing...

ul: Ok, the next band asked me to read this. "Caution: The surgeon general of rock warns that viewing this band is equal to 29 orgasms." Here they are, Tenacious D.

ooking for Jack's guitar pick] le Gass: I got it.... no wait, that's a bottle cap ck Black: Kyle. Did you look underneath THE BAR? le Gass: Yeah, nothing. ul: Ok, you guys, seriously, sincerely, you have to get out of here. We're closed. ck Black: Look, tomorrow when you're cleaning the floor if you find... ul: We only clean on holidays.

ck Black: Lee, why are you crying? e: You guys are scaring me, you're sick and I hope that you never get well

escribing obsessed fan, Lee] ck Black: This guy is total stalkerazzi. le Gass: He's full love-knife material. ck Black: Love knife? le Gass: Yeah, they get in close, too close, 'Man, I love you guys so much, I have to show you... ' retends to stab Jack] le Gass: And then, you're bloody all over, and they think they're doing a good thing... e: Guys. ck Black, Kyle Gass: AHHHHH.

ck Black: Kyle, what's wrong? le Gass: Dude, I'm... I'm balding. ck Black: Yeah, dude, you ARE bald. le Gass: DING. BalDING. ck Black: Yeah, ding. Balding

ck Black: If was gonna say just one thing to y'all tonight, I'd say set the artist free. I'm talking about this artist in here, set it free. I'm saying quit yo' day job. Now I know a lot of you here are saying, 'I can't quit my day job, I got kids to feed Jack'. Quit ya day job, focus on your craft one time. Before it's all over, you've died, you've squandered it, YOU FUCKIN' ROBOTS.

ck Black: Now after a couple of years of your focusing earnestly on your craft, KG & I will swoop in. We will check out your progress and encourage you TO CONTINUE. Or we will say STOP... and then seriously, you MUST STOP/

ptain Ed: I was in a band once, a couple of bands. Yup, I've seen it all. I drove a car into a hotel room once. Had a three-way with a pair of Siamese twins. Ate an ENTIRE HORSE.

ptain Ed: 1967, I'm onstage at the Filmore East. Jimi Hendrix is backstage, throwing up. Mama Cass is stewing up a pot of her famous spaghetti pie. Janis Joplin is washing dishes and throwing up. And then the cops bust in.

ptain Ed: My guitar's on fire, I'd been up all night shooting cheese balls, that's cocaine and cheese.

ul: There's a cover charge. ck Black: Piece of the gate. Pro Gig. ul: No, you'd actually have to pay the cover to get in. le Gass: It's still a fuckin' road gig.

ul: Hey guys, guys, guys, um, listen, can you take next week off? ck Black: You think we need a break? ul: Actually, I think we need a break.

ck Black: What's that smell? sus Ranch Cult Leader: Oh that, the collective leaving of the brethren. ck Black: You mean your shits? sus Ranch Cult Leader: Our "cult" has a simple philosophy, each time you produce a stool, you part with a portion of your soul. We save our droppings so that when we die, we may be buried with them and be complete before entering the next world.

le Gass: Skylight. Skylight.

ub Sign: Open Mike Night: You've seen the rest, now see more.

ck Black: Power sause will keep you rockin' all day and night. le Gass: Hey Jack, are they're any side effects? ck Black: Yeah, you itch like a mother fucker.

ighbor: Hey. Stop whistling over there.